Trying to Find a Little Sanity Amidst the Chaos

Dear Sweet Hubby has been working 65 hours a week. LBB has been full of energy and exploring non-stop. And I've been trying to keep up with them, keeping the house clean and orderly, making healthy meals (most of the time), and trying to be the best Mommy and Wife that I can be.

Anyone who is a Mommy and Wife can agree with me here:

Sometimes, that feels impossible.

Lately I've felt that I'm just not doing enough. That I'm not playing enough. Being patient enough. Listening enough. Relaxing enough. Enjoying enough. Praying enough.

You name it. I don't feel like I'm up to par.

And then it dawned on me. I'm trying to do it all on my own. Sure, Dear Sweet Hubby is here for me. Family is here for me. But amidst all the chaos, all the busyness...I've been forgetting to give it to God.

So here I sit tonight. Pondering. Thinking. Praying. Reading.

And I came across this verse:

"Surely God is my help; the Lord is the one who sustains me." Psalm 54:4


I sure could use some "sustaining" right now. When all that sounds good is a lazy day curled up in bed with nowhere to go, but when reality is busy days filled with lots of love and adventure (because I'm not complaining about the days, just the feeling of chaos), I could use some sustaining. When I feel like I've been cleaning up messes from sunup to sundown, only to turn around and find a new one, I could use some sustaining. When Dear Sweet Hubby lets me know he has to work late again and LBB is already set on wanting Daddy home right now, I could use some sustaining.

It's in those moments that I HAVE to remember to give it to God. I have to remember to pray to Him in the midst of the chaos. I have to remember that He is the One who sustains me. He is the One that can take those extra worries away. He is the One that can give me the patience I so desperately need. He is the One that can make me see these chaotic days as the gift that they truly are.

And then?

That's when I can play more. Enjoy more. Relax more. Laugh more. Marvel more. And just plain be in the moment and not constantly trying to take care of 10,000 things at once.

Yikes...

I keep getting behind. :) On both thankful thoughts AND pinterest challenge posts! Not to mention that I'd really like to just blog about something else...what, I'm not sure...but there just isn't enough time in the day. Right now though, I'll get caught up on my thankful thoughts before I go relax a bit while LBB sleeps.

It's been a crazy few days, so things have been a little all over the place. :-) You know how that goes!

My thankful thoughts are:

Monday: I'm thankful for my husband's safety. A few days ago, our sweet little car that we've had for 8 years (and was 3 years old when we bought it with 55000 miles on it) started making a few little tapping noises. My hubby figured out what things it could be and planned on fixing it this morning. Then, on his way home from work Sunday night, in a foggy little snowy patch in the middle of a field, Dear Sweet Hubby broke through a bit of fog only to see a nice little doe standing smack dab in front of the car. He naturally slammed on his brakes, and thankfully missed the deer, saving himself from any injury. But...

...poor little Focie (our Ford Focus' nickname, haha), wasn't so lucky. That tapping that was worrisome but we planned on fixing pretty easily quickly turned into something worse. And by the time, my hubby pulled into the parking lot at his work Monday morning, he couldn't even turn the car right, and the tapping had become a TERRIBLE thunking noise. Then, something broke off and the car made this nice "whirring" noise. And, with that, Focie was done.

Now, the car is totally fixable. BUT. In good condition, we could trade it in for only $1500 or so. Just to fix this one issue would be around $1300 or so when all is said and done. Despite the fact that we love that little car, it's time to let her go.

And be thankful, because had that ball joint and CV shaft busted when Dear Sweet Hubby was driving in traffic on the interestate, and he could have gotten into a serious mess, and caused some serious damage to him and the car.

I'm so thankful to God that He was watching over my hubby that night when the deer was trying to be a roadblock, and by having that very important part break in the parking lot and not while we are commuting.

And today's thankful thought? I'm thankful for new opportunities out of what could be seen as a bad situation. We are fortunate enough to have a second car. It's a clutch, so I lack the skills to drive it, but we will be able to make do for a while. It will take some planning and a little patience, but I think we can easily make it until June at the latest, which is around the time we were going to start car hunting anyways. There are a lot of small circumstances that make this situation, and all of them but one are good, so all in all, what seemed pretty cruddy isn't bad at all. :-)

OK...so I'm caught up on that. Now to try to get caught up on my pinterest challenge. Maybe tonight when LBB is in bed...but for now I'm going to go watch some Mighty Machines Diggers and Dozers with my little guy.

A snowy Sunday thankful thought

Last night, I had about 18 thankful thoughts go through my head. It was a wonderful sort of night. :)

We got snow in our neck of the woods! It was that lovely, first dusting of the year, when everything is fresh and new. We put the radio station on that plays Christmas music, which is always an exciting thing, and enjoyed the wintery goodness.

Dear Sweet Hubby and LBB played outside in the snow (but only for a few minutes...Mommy forgot LBB's gloves at PaPa and GiGi's. Whoops.) After LBB went to bed, Dear Sweet Hubby and I spent some quality time with our new Wii. :)

It was a wonderful night...so I'm having a tough time choosing just one thing to be thankful for.

So...I'd have to say my thankful thought for today is:

I'm thankful for every moment that God blesses us with. Each one is special. Each one is to be cherished. And each one is a gift from the Creator of Heaven and Earth.

I'm beyond amazed to think that the One who made the stars and each perfect snowflake makes sure that I'm thought of. That is quite an awe-inspiring thing. Sometimes I get distracted and think about the things that are "missing" in life...second child, our own home, and whatnot. But it's those nights like last night that make me remember how wonderfully I've already been blessed.

I hope that today brings you loads of joy and happiness! As for me, I'm going to go enjoy some quality time with LBB on this snowy day...and get some work done on this week's homeschool stuff. Have a wonderful Sunday!!!

(And I plan on posting two days worth of Pinterest challenges later on today. Check back later!)

Thankful Thoughts Catch Up

Whoops! I didn't even realize I ran a few days behind on my thankful thoughts! So, time to catch up. :)

Thankful Thought #17: I'm thankful for naps and Pepsi...without them I don't think I could function. I suppose going to bed earlier would probably do just as well...but that doesn't seem to work very well for me. HaHa. So, until I get into a routine of going to bed earlier (we are starting by going to bed 15 minutes earlier each day), naps and Pepsi are going to have to do it. :)

Thankful Thought #18: I'm thankful for new opportunities. I think I mentioned before that Dear Sweet Hubby is the store manager of a new store that opens in February, and it's so exciting to see the process and know that the team he hires is his choice. Last night we drove up to where his new store is to see the progress, and it's amazing to see how the store is coming along knowing that my hubby will be the one who opens it. I can only imagine how excited he is. :)

Thankful though #19: I'm thankful for LBB hugs...they really are the best hugs. :)

Yay! All caught up! Check back tonight for my Pinterest Challenge blog post.

Oh, and guess what?!?!?! This is my 200th blog post! Thank you to each of you who reads my little old blog...there are times when I know that there aren't a ton of people reading my blog, but that is just fine with me. I know the people that stop by here that like my blog, and that means a lot.

Whoops.

I didn't get back on here. And there's lots I'm thankful for...but...now I'm tired and my brain is foggy again. :)

However, I do think I can say that I am thankful for this: (Making this Thankful thought #13) I'm thankful for moments of understanding, moments of quiet, and moments of knowing that God is showing you something you've been missing. And I'm even more thankful that there is a peace in finally stepping back and seeing something for what it is. :)

And with that thankful thought...I'm going to sign off. I know it's a vague thought, and it's something that has been a pretty big deal in our lives for awhile. But...it's one of those things that I'm not ready to share. :) I don't know if I will be able to share it anytime soon, but rest assured (just in case you were worried), everything is fine, and we really are at a point where we are learning true contentedness. That's an amazing feeling.

So, good night!

I Think Too Much

And when I think too much, my brain starts to argue with itself, and I end up being up at 1:15 am listening to the two sides of my brain argue back and forth.

Sheesh. Quiet down, thoughts. ;)

Well, really, I'm up right now because LBB was fussing just a bit and I'm making sure he gets back to sleep ok. Before that, I was just getting ready to stop spending way too much time on pinterest and head to bed. Really. I was. (OK...I may be fibbing. If you hear of a "Pinterest Anonymous" group let me know...I might know someone who could use a little help.)

But, then LBB fussed because he fell asleep in front of his bedroom door, which I am sure is not comfortable after a while. The worst thing? He CHOOSES to fall asleep there. We put him back in bed, and he immediately tried going back to the door (while he was still mostly asleep, mind you). He even managed to argue that he wanted to sleep by the door.

Sorry, Buster. Not gonna happen.

And trying to get him back in bed is not easy when he falls asleep by the door. Mostly because he literally falls asleep-RIGHT BY THE DOOR! As in, most of the time his sweet little face is 1 inch from it. So, thankfully I am still pretty skinny and can squeeze my way through a 5 inch opening (I think I may try out for Cirque de Soleil...I'm sure that is one of their acts), because if not he'd be sleeping by the door everynight. I always have to stick my arm in, turn and scootch him over a bit without waking him, make sure his face isn't pushed against the door, and then shimmy through the doorway. I don't know why he likes to sleep there...I'm sure it partly has to do with the fact that all his Cars are in their door organizer and he loves to drive them around while he falls asleep. I think it may also be due to the fact that he can then hear Mommy and Daddy while he nods off. And...he's LBB and LBB does things a little differently sometimes.

Do your kiddles have any strange sleeping habits? Please make me feel better here and leave a comment! :)

But for now, I think LBB is asleep, so I'm going to go hit the sack too. Hopefully my brain decides to cooperate...I'm tired of listening to it argue back and forth. ;) Goodnight!

(And I suppose since it is technically Sunday, I should do my thankful thought....but I'm tired. And if I blog it right now, it will be "I'm thankful for my pillow, my blanket, and my fat white cat that likes to cuddle up at bedtime." I think that's a pretty good thankful thought, but I'll get back on here later today when I'm not half asleep.)

A big thankful thought...and then a small thankful musing

Thankful thought no. 4:

I'm thankful that God blessed me with a husband who holds my hand when I am sad, pulls me close, and says it will all be ok. I'm thankful that I've been blessed with a husband that reminds me how blessed I am, just when I need to hear it, and not in a "You shouldn't be whining" kind of way. And I'm thankful that the husband I've been blessed with can focus on me when I know he is a sad about the same thing.

And to add to today's thankful thought...I'm thankful for my amazing Mom that lets me call her at 11:45 at night when I am in tears just to tell me that it will be ok. (And friends, please don't worry much...everything is fine. Just a little sad, is all.) Thank you, Mom. :)

And not on my list of thankful thoughts, I suppose, but I had to write about it tonight because it was one of those moments that made my heart melt into one giant puddle of Mommy goop.

Sunshine spilling on my sweet little boy's blonde noggin. Pine needles tickling his face. And a smile that can make any sad thought go away.

My sweet baby is not such a baby anymore...he is growing and becoming a sweet boy. He played underneath the big pine tree outside his window today...joyously running around the trunk. Pushing his Cars through the pine needles. And watching in awe as the first bird came to the birdfeeder he and Daddy made.

I'm blessed, and I know that. I struggle sometimes, wishing for something that is seemingly not meant to be right now. My human ways search for understanding, and when it can't be found, my frail heart begins to doubt.

But then, my sweet son hugs me and gives me sweet eskimo kisses. And I can hear God telling me that it will all be ok.

I apologize for the forlorn post tonight...thank you for reading it...and I promise soon I'll be back to normal.

Good night, dear reader.

Contentment (Otherwise Known as "Our Story and What We Are Learning From It"

“We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.”--Frederick Keonig

We've had a lot of change in our lives in the past 4 years.

4 years ago, I was working Full Time at a big orange store as a department head in bookkeeping. Dear Sweet Hubby was working his tail off with no real rewards at a small tool store as an assistant manager. I dreamed of being a Mom, staying at home, and raising a family.

We decided the time was right and that we were going to try to have a child. So, we packed our belongings, moved to a 2 bedroom apartment in a different suburb, and were shown that not everyone gets preggers right away. :) Apparently, my plans were different than God's.

5 months later, and with no success, we stepped back and assessed the situation. Dear Sweet Hubby was completely unhappy with his job situation, I was feeling more than stuck where I was at, so when the opportunity for Dear Sweet Hubby to get a new job working at a strong retail company, we jumped on it. Not to mention the fact that the new job made it possible for me to become a housewife, and a hope of moving back into the "country". (We believed we weren't cut out for the big city lights.) So, we packed our stuff, again, and moved to our temporary city where Dear Sweet Hubby had to do his training. We literally lived in an Econolodge for a month, and then found this adorable little apartment. (And by little, I mean tiiiiinnnnyyyy.) But, it was nicer than any other apartment we were in, had a washer and dryer, a wonderful kitchen, and the balcony overlooked a wooded area that regularly housed a family of deer. Needless to say, those 4 months we lived there were absolutely wonderful. We were giving everything to God. We weren't attempting to get pregnant because we knew it just wasn't the time. And we just enjoyed the moment. We learned a lot from that moment in our lives.

Right before Thanksgiving, Dear Sweet Hubby finished his training and was told he'd be getting into his own store, and that he had to be there the Monday after Thanksgiving...talk about short timing! So....we packed up AGAIN, and moved into an apartment (sight unseen) in a small, tiny, Midwestern town. And of course, those dreams of having a family popped up again.

4 months later, a tiny plastic stick told us we were expecting, and 9 months later (with one more move due to a mold issue where we lived) we welcomed our sweet LBB into our family. And then, news that Dear Sweet Hubby's store would be closing due to repairs that were too costly, so off we went...right back to where we started from! Dear Sweet Hubby took a store that was 30 minutes from our first apartment. Crazy, isn't it?

So, we lived with my parents for a few months while we got our bearings straight, and then moved into the apartment that we are in now.

Did you count the moves? In the past 4 years, we have lived in 6 apartments, a hotel, and my parents' basement. :)

And...we just got wonderful news that Dear Sweet Hubby will be opening a new store 45 minutes from where we live. His current commute is 1 hour through traffic, and this is going out of the metro, so no traffic now! Immediately, our wheels started turning...well, if we could buy a house. If this. If that. When we have another child. If we can have another child...

...I am going to be completely upfront and share what breaks our heart each and every month. We dream of having another little one. We can't wait for the day that LBB is a big brother. We long to hold another sweet newborn in our arms. In fact, we've been waiting for that day for 20 months now. We know that when it is in God's plan, it will happen according to Him. Sometimes, though, that's not easy to accept.

But.

What's all this got to do with contentment? Do you see a common thread in this whole story?

I do, especially now. God has led us on an amazing journey. He has blessed us with an amazing marriage, an amazing son, and the ability to have me stay at home, be a housewife, and homeschool our little guy while Dear Sweet Hubby works at a job he loves. We've made some stupid mistakes, and some we are still paying for, but through it all, God is teaching us how to be content.

And I've gotta say...sometimes we can be really ignorant. Sometimes we try to ignore the lesson he is teaching us. Sometimes we try to make it happen in our time. Sometimes we get lost and ignore the way he is guiding us.

So, when the news of Dear Sweet Hubby going to this new store and knowing how cheap houses were, yadda yadda yadda, we started to get that discontentment bug again. We started to think about how we needed to rush to do this, rush to do that, move again in 2 years, and then rush around doing things in a house. But, we stopped.

We prayed. We talked. And we took a deep breath.

And decided, that deep down, when you find contentment in the place you live...in the apartment, house, underground silo (whatever it is you call home!), you find true happiness. When you realize that the list of things you want to do around your little apartment to make it work perfectly for your family makes you happy, while the lists of things to do to buy a house scare the living daylights out of you, it's probably wisest to go with what makes you happy.

God put us here for a reason. We live in the suburb we live for a specific reason...Dear Sweet Hubby has some time to relax after work before he walks in the door. LBB is close to all the cool extracurricular activities that the metro has to offer. And we live close enough to my parents to be happy and have that family time that is so special for us. Our apartment is home. And someday in the next few years, we would love to move into a 3 bedroom apartment in the complex for a little more space, but even that comes with contentment. :)

So, all that rambling comes down to one thing...and it's a big one.

Contentment isn't an easy thing to achieve. Sometimes you have to go through a lot of discontentment to even know how to get there. Sometimes you'll think you are "achieving" it only to find out that you had your blinders on and have to start over.

But once you find it, ah. It's a wonderful, relaxed feeling. You can begin to look at things with joy in your heart. Small things, big things. Happy things, stressful things. All of them take on a new look. And while as humans we are meant to struggle now and again with this issue, God will lead us on a path that helps us learn to be happy with what we've been blessed with. It is an amazing thing.

So, on this evening when I've rambled your ear off, please, take a moment and think...are you content? What is that makes you content? (And leave a comment if you want!)

That's all for now...I'm seriously going to go look at pinterest now. :) Have a blessed evening!

Mommy's Night Out, Daddy's Night In

I don't know if you've noticed recently, but I've been blogging a lot...my goal at the beginning of the year was to blog more than I did last year. And then, our computer broke. Now that we have internet access again, I'm trying super hard to catch up...I think I'll make it. Anyways...back to my post. I'm done rambling.

My mom called me today asking if I wanted to go out for a little bit when Dear Sweet Hubby got home from work. I always have such a difficult time leaving, even though as time goes on, I'm getting a bit better at it. Normally when the boys have a Daddy-LBB night out, they go somewhere while I stay home and craft. (Or clean...that's usually what happens.) So the nights that I go out instead...they are pretty rare. :)

We went to the baby store. Breezed around some crafts stores. I drooled over some purses and earrings at one store, while my Mom picked out the most adorable one. Went to a home decor store. Did some price shopping on groceries. (I'm trying to save even more money, so we can get more food...LBB is eating us out of house and home!) And we even grabbed a bite to eat, which was unexpected, but so wonderful. :)

And the boys had a wonderful time too! LBB got some much needed Daddy time, and they played ball, ran around outside, went for a truck ride, played cars, and...this is the most adorable part...they cleaned out a spot in the garage because LBB wanted to push some of his cars around in there. :) Adorable, right? Dear Sweet Hubby keeps a stash of special cars in the garage, so if LBB goes out there he doesn't get bored or into trouble. It's always a highlight for LBB. (Have I mentioned what a wonderful Daddy my Dear Sweet Husband is?)

And when I got back, LBB was covered in just normal little-guy-play-grime and needed a good old bubble bath to get clean. :) So sweet! Mommy time is wonderful for me...and so wonderful for those too as well! Plus, they get the added benefit of a Mommy who got a break. :)

Next time though...I'm going on a payday so I don't have to just drool over the purses! This Mommy needs a new bag since we don't use a diaper bag anymore!

I Love Our Librarian

When we moved here, we went to multiple branches of the public library system trying to find the one that fit us. We tried 3 different storytimes...and yet none of them clicked.

I know...it may seem weird that we put this much emphasis on the library we go to, but it's so important! A good library is more than just a place to check out books...it's a place to grow, for your kids to grow, to learn, and have a fun as a family. :)

So, anyways, back to what I was saying. We finally tried the last one that was within a reasonable distance (and ironically, one of the closest), and we fell in love at first sight. It's a gorgeous library filled with tons of books, resources, and friendly staff. And then, we brought LBB to Baby Storytime.

And we met the Children's Librarian. LBB just adores her...she is so kind, so wonderful, and cares so much about the kids. And as LBB grew and learned, she has been such an important figure in his life.

Today, I called and signed LBB up for his first session of Toddler Storytime (which she happily agreed that he should start sooner than the recommended age...see what I mean, she's wonderful!) We had a nice conversation about LBB, what he'll be doing in Toddler Storytime, and then we started chatting about how we homeschool and that he will be starting preschool in October. What was so wonderful about the conversation was that she showed so much interest in what we were planning in his curriculum and even talked about some people she knows who homeschooled their kids. (Sidenote: These people were studying Pompeii and took a extended vacation in Italy for some "roadschooling"...that would be awesome.)

And then, she told me that if we ever needed help with books, to just let her know. :) Isn't that awesome?!?!? It feels so good to have a support system out there that knows LBB and his learning style and abilities, and is willing to offer assistance when needed.

See what I mean? I love our librarian. :)

Waking Up On the Right Side of the Bed

I'm still under the weather. Dear Sweet Hubby is on his 4th day straight of working the closing shift (and 3 days were from 7-8...add his hour drive, and I feel like I'm living with a roommate instead of a husband). And LBB, is well, LBB. :-) Full spririted, energetic, demanding, and lovable. And awake this morning at 3:00 am.

Yep. 3 am. He had also woken up at 1:28 am and 2:15 am or so, and had a nice late bedtime of 9:30.

This mommy's exhausted.

But, somehow, as I sat here getting ready to go take a nap (which I really need to type faster and get to), I came across 2 or 3 different posts all on the same subject...

Starting your day off right.

Yes, God. I'm listening now.

See, I'm guilty of putting off taking care of myself. I'm guilty of grumbling as I roll out of bed at the crack of dawn as LBB pulls on my arm. I'm so guilty of skipping breakfast. Skipping lunch. And sneaking in a pepsi and a bag of Uncle Ray's Sour Cream and Onion chips sometime before I make dinner. And exercise...yeah...that doesn't happen often.

And as I read these different blog posts, it dawned on me that God was trying to tell me something.

What's that? If I don't take care of myself, God, my whole day will follow suit? If I wake up crabby and worn out, the rest of my day will feel crabby and worn out?

I need to start waking up before LBB. I need to eat better. I need to go to be before the nice late hour of midnight.

And then...on the days that I'm not feeling 100%, and family stops by to check on LBB and I, I won't feel ashamed...because let's face it, when you put off taking care of yourself, the house can look clean but gets messy way to fast. The things you are normally on top of fall to the wayside, and as you welcome people into your home, you notice the little things that sleep deprivation and grumpiness were hiding. :)

Now...I don't know if this is making a whole lot of sense (I am super tired after all), but I do know that God knew what was troubling me...and sent me right to the places I needed to go to bring those troubles to light. He is so very good that way, isn't He?

He's a Hoot

LBB makes me chuckle. Constantly. :)

Well, not constantly. There are those moments when I am convinced he is just testing my patience for the fun of it. But I still try to smile it off. I do well 98% of the time.

He is absolutely in love with trains and boats right now. Whenever he hears the train that blows it's whistle near our house, LBB stops what he is doing and yells "CHOO-CHOO!!!!" It's super cute, if I do say so myself. And tonight, he spent some time watching train videos on YouTube. Then he watched a clip of the Thomas the Train movie he watched yesterday. And...when it came time for bed, insisted on bringing one of his Thomas engines to bed with him.

And when it comes to boats, that little guy is just like his Daddy. :) Apparently a love of all things that float on the water is hereditary. He first started saying "boat" when we went on vacation and got to see some big ships. And for a while, he thought that the train blowing it's whistle was actually a boat, but he knows the difference now. So, among the train videos, he also watched a LOT of boat videos as well. Then, proceeded to go through his room to find all the boat toys he could and bring them out to the living room.

Oh...he's such a boy. And I love it. When we first found out we were pregnant with LBB, I can admit that I was originally hoping for a girl. :) (After all, don't most mommies?) And the day we found out that the little baby that was being so rambunctious, so stubborn, and so strong, was a boy, fear took over. I didn't know what to do with boys! Needless to say, I got over that fear within days, and spent my pregnancy super excited that we would be welcoming a bouncy baby boy. And when he arrived, it was love at first sight. Now I am in awe that I could have had any fears over raising a boy.

And each night, when I put away Hot Wheels, clean up Duplos, rebuild train tracks, put his ride-on fire truck back by the window (and his fireman hat on top of it), and put oodles and oodles of truck, car, firefighter, and construction books back on the book shelf, I am struck by how awesome it is to have a little boy...

...and how awesome it is, that whenever we hear a train or see a boat, he makes this wonderful look of excitement and surprise and says "WHOA!" Sigh. He's sleeping right now, but if I could I'd give him tons of big Mommy hugs. :)

God is very good and knows exactly what he is doing, that's for sure. :)

I'm Blessed

Just a forewarning, but I'm going to ramble about my hubby. :)

Dear Sweet Hubby came home from work today, and in his hand had a nice cold Pepsi for me and a Strawberry Kiwi juice drink for LBB. You should have seen LBB's face. He's normally ecstatic when his daddy gets home, but today, even more so...I think the smile on his face could have lit up a dim room.

And then, upon hearing of how spirited little man was today, Dear Sweet Hubby took him to a boy store and let me have some quality, quiet Mommy time at the scrapbook store. My hubby is nothing short of awesome. :) And while at the boy store, he bought LBB a Hot Wheels truck since they were picking up their truck at PaPa and GiGi's house. LBB held it all the way home after they got in the truck.

Which brings me to the last part...LBB and Dear Sweet Hubby had a boy's night out driving in the truck, partly because LBB loves their truck, and partly because my Dear Sweet Hubby wanted me to be able to turn my music up loud on the way home. (It's my therapy. HaHa!)

My husband rocks. :)

Dedication

This past Mother's Day weekend, we had LBB's baby dedication at our church.

Dear Sweet Hubby and I have never been "keen" on baby baptism...mostly because we feel it should be LBB's choice to be baptized when he knows what it means. But...this baby dedication is exactly what we believe, and we are so blessed to have our church feel the same way.

If you want to read our church's view on the subject, click here. :)

Right before we got up on the stage, they played the sweetest video about children and dedication and raising them in the way of the Lord, and my overly-emotional Mommy-self came out and I had to fight back the tears. As I held my sweet little boy, all dressed in his dapper suit that was a gift from PaPa and GiGi, all I wanted to do was hug him and give him kisses on his little forehead...but since we were first in line, I had to be content just holding him tight. :)

And then during the ceremony, I couldn't help but feel my heart be filled with God's love and support as our Pastor talked about the dedication and what it meant...it's an amazing thing.

God blessed Dear Sweet Hubby and I with the profound gift of raising this little boy into a man who lives for God. God has given us a few basic tools...the Bible, prayer, and lots more prayer. And with those tools, we get to have a hand in teaching LBB the love of the Lord. What it means to be saved. And how to live his life for Christ.

What a big responsibility for two plain, simple humans, isn't it? And we're all like that. We're all given that responsibility as parents...children are a gift from God, and it is straight from the Bible that we are to raise them up in His name. And just when you think..."This is quite a daunting task. Where do I even start?"

God gives you a hint.

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up." Deuteronomy 6:5-7

Well...maybe not so much a hint. Maybe more of a smack on the forehead. :) God's pretty awesome at knowing what I need to read when I need to read it.

There's going to be struggles. There's going to be questions. There's going to be that nagging feeling of "Are we even doing this right?" But that's why God is there. That's why the Bible is our go-to guide. That's why He blessed us with family, friends, and a church family that is there to support us.

And that's why He gave us knees...because, goodness, they are going to get a lot of wear and tear over our lifetime as parents. Especially with that spirited little guy that God blessed us with...but the amazing thing is...even when LBB has a rough day, I know that God has great things in store for him.

And that, as a mom, is an AWESOME feeling.

Last Night...

...I had all these great ideas for things I wanted to blog about.


Guess what happened to them this morning? I woke up. And they were gone. :) That'll teach me to postpone blogging...or at least it will teach me to jot them down somewhere.


But, I was busy last night working on a quilt while my Dear Sweet Hubby watched a movie and had a little facebook time for himself. And, I can proudly say that my quilt is nearly done! YAY! I only have the handquilting to do...which I'm sure will take a bit, but I am looking forward to relaxing on the couch in the evenings, handquilting the quilt, and spending some very much needed quality time with Dear Sweet Hubby. He's been working like a madman lately, and things are finally starting to go back to normal (phew!), so it will be nice to have him home and more importantly, have him home more relaxed. :)


I can never express how thankful I am that God has blessed me with a husband that works so hard to provide for his family. I can never find the words strong enough to let him know that I am grateful everyday that he works so hard to make it possible for me to be a stay at home mommy. And I don't think I'll ever be able to fully describe how happy it makes me that having me at home and being here to raise our child (and hopefully future ones!) is a top priority for him. Even more amazing is the fact that Dear Sweet Hubby works 55-60 hours a week, and on top of that, drives 10-14 hours back and forth to work, just so we can live close to my parents in a town that we love.


To sum it all up? Dear Sweet Hubby is amazing. :)


This past Thursday marked 9 years of us being together as an official couple. :) We were almost out of high school when we became boyfriend/girlfriend, and it's been 9 years of love, laughter, and the occasional argument. (OK...I'll be honest...we're both very stubborn and butt heads on a lot of silly things. But...never anything big, and we've never gone to bed mad at each other. That's what is important.)


There are all those statistics out there that talk about failed marriages of people who marry young and whatnot, and I love that my hubby and I are one of the marriages that prove those stupid statistics wrong. :) Every hardship we've had, we've gone through together, and every wonderful happiness (and there are have been tons of those!) we've gone through together.


When we were first dating, we would give each other sweet little notes and cards (which we still have), and in all of them we talked about the same thing. How happy we were that we finally found the loves of our lives. How blessed we were to have each other. And how we looked forward to growing old together.


And you know what? All those things hold true.


Everyday I am over the moon that I have the love of my life by my side. Everyday I thank God for the husband he blessed me with. And everyday, I love knowing that when I'm old and grey, my Dear Sweet Hubby will be by my side. :)

And to think...when I started writing today, I had no idea what I was going to write about. :)

Enchanting

That's the best word I can use to describe this past year.

As my LBB turns one, I look back on this past year and am amazed by so many things...how quick it's flown by. And amazed by every little moment of it. All the smiles. All the sleepless nights. All the hugs. All the cuddles.

The firsts...first Christmas. First smile. First Easter. First time crawling. Those first unsure steps (although he is still being stubborn about this. :) He can walk, he just chooses not to.) His first words. And all the little firsts that quietly slip in each and every day as our LBB learns and explores this world.

He is an amazing kid...and I know I'm most likely biased seeing as how I'm Mommy and all that. But everyday he does something that takes my breath away. Does something that amazes me. And something that just plain makes me laugh. If I were to post everytime he did something that struck me as funny, sweet, smart, or just plain adorable...I'd never leave the computer (and as a result, miss all those funny, sweet, smart, adorable moments!)

Not to say that this first year hasn't been filled with moments of worry. Or moments of pure exhaustion. All those typical first year experiences...worrying if my LBB was eating right. Worrying when he bumps his head. Being exhausted that first month when everything in our world was being turned upside down and we had a newborn that we were cherishing but trying to figure out (the joys of first time parenting. :) ) But in the long run, I wouldn't trade any of those trying moments for a thing...those moments make you cherish all the other moments even more.

The moment I held LBB in my arms after those hours of labor, after those months of waiting, I was convinced I couldn't love him anymore than I did at that moment. But, that's the funny thing about being a mother...each and everyday my love grows more and more for him. What I once thought was insurmountable love is trumped every day when I feel like my heart is about to burst from all the love. When he gives me a big sloppy kiss my heart melts into a puddle of goop. And when he nestles up into my neck as we are saying his goodnight prayers, my eyes get misty and I feel like there is no more perfect place to be. Funny thing, love is. Especially love for your child and from your child. This past year I've learned so much about love from such a small little heaven-sent package.

He teaches me daily that while I am not close to being a perfect mother (but oh how I try!), he is the perfect son. :) He is inquistive. Funny. Loving. Caring. Stubborn. Sweet. Adorable. Flirty. Amusing. Creative. Intelligent. Relentless. Helpful. And he unconditionally loves us. What an amazing thing that is. God's goodness shines through him daily, and I never stop thanking the Lord for that.

Looking back, I am nostalgic over this past year. I miss the little things like him sleeping in our bed every night. The non-stop cuddles. The pure necessity of needing us to be with him. But, looking forward, I am loving every moment of his "growing-up". The independence. The stubborness. The excitement he has for exploring, learning, and creating.

As he grows, I love watching the traits he gets from his daddy and I. I love watching the traits that are purely his own. And I adore watching him develop and fine-tune his personality everyday.

My LBB, on this first birthday of many, I thank God for the gift of you to us. I look forward to this next year of growing, learning, exploring, creating, and just plain having fun. And I am so very thankful for everything that you teach me. For every hug and kiss that you give me. And for every single moment of every single day with you. I can't imagine a more fulfilling job than the one I have of being your Mommy. I love you so very much, my dear little LBB. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

My little boy...

...turns 9 months old in less than 48 hours. What? How? Today has been filled with little moments of nostalgia.

Sighing as I found his pair of little foam sandals we got back in May. Quietly laughing as I picked up his knit Green Bay packer hat that, sadly, he only wore a few times before his head got too large. :)

But, smiling as I watched him crawl. Learn. Explore. And get into lots of trouble. As much as I miss those early days (especially all the cuddles!), I cherish each moment of these days (especially the cuddles that are reserved for sleepy-time.) LBB is growing up so fast, and while I try to embrace it, there are moments that I know it is flying by way too fast.

This evening, Dear Sweet Hubby took LBB out for a boy's night, something that they plan on doing weekly now. They went to an outdoors store and played with fishing rods. They walked across the street to walk through Target and look at toys, tv's, and car stuff. And they attempted to go to a park, but all the swings had some sort of "strange goop" on them as Dear Sweet Hubby says. :) And the plus of their bonding time? Mommy got some much needed quiet time to clean up the house and relax just a bit.

In the long run, I think these outings will be very beneficial for LBB...he is a definite "Momma's Boy" and doesn't really like being left alone for any amount of time if I am not in the room. He does fine when Dear Sweet Hubby is playing with him...as long as I am in the same room. BUT. Take me out of the equation, and you've got a LBB who actually has fun being away from me. I think I'm ok with that. :) Just joking...I am ok with it. And it makes me all the more appreciative of all things LBB when he gets home. That is always a good thing!

It's been a while, hasn't it?

As most of you probably know, I've been on an internet hiatus. And my oh my, what a nice break it was!!! I could almost get by without coming on here ever again. Almost. But then I'd miss my friends, all the valuable information, and let's be honest here, all the silly mindnumbing games I've somehow gotten addicted to on facebook. :)

But in that time away from this amazing box of information (aka my computer), I got a lot done.

OK. Let me take that back. I really didn't get as much "stuff" done as I planned. But I did a lot more important things than stuff. I cuddled. I played. I read. I relaxed.

I simply enjoyed life.

What a wonderful blessing that was. And what a wonderful life to enjoy!

That time away made me cherish the moments that are fleeting...the sitting-in-the-middle-of-the-living-room-and-reading-to my-sweet-LBB moments.

The first few days I did get quite a bit accomplished...and I suppose I still got a lot done even though I didn't get everything done on my list. I made shoes for LBB. I played the Alice in Wonderland Nintendo DS game my sweet hubby got me for my bithday (that's right. My birthday. Two months ago. And this was the first time playing it. Wow.) I worked on a few things for my etsy shop. And some other things that I can't quite remember at this point. :)

So, that's the update on that.

And what did sweet LBB do while on Mommy was on an internet hiatus, you may ask? Well...lots in fact. He's been one very busy boy since I last wrote. In the past three weeks, he has gone to the zoo twice, gone to the aquarium once, got to see his Grandpa, Grandma, and Aunt that live in Las Vegas, went on the carousel, started sipping from his sippy cup, gone to more library storytimes, smiled at every person he sees everywhere he goes (we are definitely going to have a nice loooooonnng talk about "stranger danger" when he comes of age), and most recently, the biggest developments all at once:

*He is going to sleep on his own. In his crib. Not in our bed. I loved the whole cosleeping concept...and I miss knowing he is right there. But I always said that when he was ready he'd let us know. And he slowly did. And now he is in his crib as we speak, sound asleep. Not to mention he is now going to bed TWO hours earlier than he used to and sleeping through the night. WHAT?!?!?! How did this happen? All I have to say is I am very proud of my LBB.

*His tooth is coming in...finally!!! Dear Sweet Hubby got his first tooth at 4 months or so. I got my first tooth at (wait for it, wait for it) 13 months. So, quite honestly, we didn't know what to expect with LBB. 4 months came and went. 5 months came and went. 6 months came and went. And still not a single sign of a pearly white. 7 months came and...almost...went. :) But, a few days ago, LBB went to go gnaw on my finger (which is a very common thing for him), and I was taken aback by a sharp little thing in the bottom of his mouth. And then...the next day, TWO sharp little things in the bottom of his mouth. That's right. All these months with no little teeth, and BAM! Two at a time.

*He is almooossstt crawling. This morning he got one arm moved and then fell. This evening he moved both arms and legs and fell. Tomorrow...who knows. But his GiGi told him she expects him to be crawling when she gets back Sunday night. :) Maybe it'll be just the motivation he needs.

*And he is almoooossstt standing up on his own! Serious! He's been pulling himself up slowly but surely. Last night I sat in the chair and he was on the floor, and he turned himself around a bit and pulled himself up. And then fell flat on his bottom. The crib is definitely going down to the lowest level now! My LBB is nearly mobile!

So, that's what is new in LBB world. :) Quite a bit, isn't it?

We eat. We play. We laugh. We live.

Allow this to be my late Mother's Day post. :) Or perhaps my early birthday post.

Since the day we brought LBB home from the hospital (and what a joyous day it was!), life has never been the same. And, since I recently hit my "stride" as a mommy and Dear Sweet Hubby has hit his "stride" as a daddy, life is one exciting, joyful, memorable moment after another.

I'm sure you know what I mean by "stride"...when you have those days more often than not that you know you love that little baby so much, but "Why in the world did God trust me with this? How do I do this!?!?!" Those days when you try so hard but still have nothing done at the end of the day...and then...all of a sudden....

Life. Is. Easier.

You feel 10,000 times more confident in your parenting abilities. You actually get things done during the day. And you realize: "I can do this. And I can do this well!" That, my bloggy friends, is what I mean by hitting my "stride."So, since Dear Sweet Hubby and I have hit our stride, we are enjoying our moments with LBB even more...which, honestly, I didn't think was possible.

LBB and I spend our days blissfully (that is truly the best way to describe it.) Sure, there are rough days when he has three incredibly dirty diapers or he is a fussbucket for 2 hours at night because he just doesn't want to go to sleep. But even those moments make up the whole experience. And the whole experience is good!

I think back to what I would be doing a year ago. I was dreaming about what our days would be like. Worrying about how good a mom I would be. And anticipating the day I could hold LBB in my arms. And, now, thankfully, I get to cherish every moment of the day with him (even those 2 am cuddles). I know I am a good mom and have learned to stop doubting myself. And, I get to hold LBB in my arms and cuddle regularly! What could be better than that?

The answer, friends, is nothing. Nothing compares to holding your child in your arms and know that they have taken your heart and you'll never get it back or want it back. Nothng compares to sitting at the dining table as you feed your little one and chatter back in forth as carrots fly all over the place. And nothing...absolutely nothing...can compare to the joy I feel when LBB smiles at me and the serenity I feel when he falls asleep in my arms. :)

A little thought before a monthday celebration...

5 Months. LBB will be 5 months tomorrow.

Time sure does fly, doesn't it? You know what's funny though? When I say 5 months, it sounds like such a short time...

But it doesn't feel like it's been a short time.

I can't imagine a day without LBB. Did we have a life before him? I feel like LBB has been with us forever...like there wasn't a time that we didn't get to enjoy his cuddles, smile when he laughs, and marvel at his growth.

I really think that is what is so amazing about being a parent...that no matter how young he may seem, it seems like he has always been with us. Even when he was just a twinkle in God's eye. But you know what...I suppose even before we found out we were pregnant, he was with us. He was with us in major life decisions we made. LBB was with us when the idea of being parents was just a dream. He was with us when I would drag Dear Sweet Hubby into Babies R Us years before we even tried to get pregnant! :) (What can I say...I'm a planner.)

So, on this monthday "eve" I sit here and think about how blessed we are to have something that makes us who we are. A family. Something that it seemed like we were always hoping for. Always praying for. And now that we are, something that seems like we've been all the time!

I look forward to celebrating LBB's monthday tomorrow...after all, he is almost half a year old already and the sweetest little guy we've ever met!